On the Art of Letting Go

Aloha Reader,

There is a quiet strength in releasing what no longer serves us.  We often speak of resilience as if it only exists in holding fast and enduring a tight grip.  I have learned that true resilience lies in the opposite - in learning to let go.  Holding fast on to what we cannot change can cause a great deal of unrest.  It is not our circumstances that weigh us down, but our refusal to let go of them.

Consider the nature of life itself: it moves in cycles, in waves.  To stand firm against the tide is to exhaust oneself.  Growing up, my grandfather taught us that when the current pulls at us, the more you fight it the more likely you'll drown.  We resist change because it threatens our illusion of control.  But understand this: control is fleeting, a transient shadow that we chase.  The more we pursue it, the further it evades us and sends us into a spiral of emotions.  We forget that the only thing we truly possess is our own mind and our ability to choose how we respond.

Too many view letting go as an act of surrendering or giving up but in actuality, letting go is an act of growth and wisdom.  It is acknowledging that there are forces beyond us - other people's actions, the passage of time, the losses we endure - that remain indifferent to our will.  We don't suffer because of these forces, but because we attach ourselves to outcomes, and believe that we can direct them.  Understand the art of letting go and you will find peace, not in what remains, but in the freedom of no longer being tethered to the uncontrollable.

You may be questioning, "How does one learn to let go?"

It begins with perspective.  Consider the things that burden you now. Ask yourself: will this matter tomorrow, in a year, in five years? Likely, it will not.  Our greatest source of turmoil is often found in the present moment because we inflate its importance.  But time reveals the insignificance of most worries if only we step back far enough to see.

Train yourself to release your grip on the things you cannot alter.  A lost opportunity, a failed endeavor, an unkind word spoken to you - let them pass.  We are but travelers in this life, and every day presents us with new paths.  You cannot move forward if you are bound to the weight of yesterday.

Letting go does not mean losing. Instead, it means gaining the one thing that is truly yours: peace of mind.

Stand tall in this knowledge, and remember—nothing has power over you unless you give it.

Keep it KŪ,
Coach