That’s how I define leadership: Stepping up. Knowing what’s the right thing to do, and making it happen regardless of the consequences. – Nainoa Thompson
Men today are after instant gratification. Especially the younger men. Nowadays, if you want something you are either a click or text away. Some guys no longer find the importance of one of the most important skills to have: the patience to wait.
Having to wait has become a trigger for frustration and anger that comes with comments such as “I have better things to do”, “This is a waste of time”, “People are so slow”, among others. Why do I know this? Because I’ve caught myself thinking these things.
The great coach, John Wooden said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” Today’s men who are lost are more worried about their reputation rather than their character.
I blame social media for this phenomena.
People, not just guys, are more worried about the “likes” or “follows” they receive than the impact or influence they have on their community. Social media feeds our need for connection and acceptance. It’s sad that we have to look outside of our family, community, and friends to feel that.
This whole information age and access to technology has tested our character. When we want food, we can get it delivered or simply pick up a plate lunch. We don’t have to hunt, harvest, or cook our food. If we want to listen to our favorite song or that new hit, we can go on YouTube, iTunes, or Spotify to find it. We no longer have to patiently wait for the song to hit the radio stream to press “play/record” to put it on our mix cassette tape.
We started to believe that the faster we get things done, the more fulfilled we’ll be. Looking for someone to date? Join a dating site. Want to have a good time? Go drink and do some drugs. In need of sex? Watch porn and masturbate.
We no longer find ourselves living in the moment because we are always thinking of the next thing to do in order to overcome boredom.
The problem is that men no longer feel the need to reflect, there is no time for it, and believe that whatever they want is just a text, click away, or whistle away.
The times of solitude and reflection are the moments when you build your character. When you are in solitude, the main person you have to converse with is yourself.
Sometimes being honest with ourselves is the hardest thing. We may feel like we have to act a certain way or play a specific role. It’s not about what you think or feel, it’s mainly about who you are and who you believe you are.
You may think, “There’s nothing interesting about me.”
Or when you are asked, “What do you do?”
You reply with, “Nothing really, just cruise.”
Is that what you really do? Is that what you really think you are all about? Nothing.
When you throw out all the bullshit that you’ve been fed over the years and the crap you’ve told yourself, only then can you start bringing out your true character and living out your hero’s journey.
Because at the end of the day when all that you do and all those you interact with are gone, you have to look at yourself and ask, “What makes a good man of me?”
Only You Have the Answer
You see a lot of articles thrown out there telling you what it means to be a man, but only you have the answer for yourself. I’m not here to tell you how to be. All I can do is share my thoughts that’ll guide you to make the decision and come to a conclusion for yourself.
I believe everyone has something unique to offer and there is an underlying force of strength that is brewing beneath the surface. But it’s not about what I believe, it’s about what you believe.
Character of a man continues to be tested even more so in this day of technology and information.
You can read this article and think, “Whatever,” or maybe you feel just a tad insulted that I’m questioning your manhood and you think, “You don’t know me, you don’t know where I’m from”.
If that’s the case, then you missed the whole purpose of this article.
But you are challenged.
Challenged to find time of solitude for reflection.
Challenged to answer the question for yourself, What makes a good man of me?
Challenged to be you.
Challenged to be Kū.
